I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
