I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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