I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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