Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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