i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
