just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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