I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who did Billy Mays play for?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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