Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize