Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.

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  (216): i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers. http://tfl.nu/za5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2820) Bad night (474)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

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  (703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out http://tfl.nu/sd1u
  Replies (22) Good night (553) Bad night (5090)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.

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  (310): Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar. http://tfl.nu/dxcg
  Replies (2) Good night (4208) Bad night (487)
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  (559): View more from California

  I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

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  (559): I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day? http://tfl.nu/b9nt
  Replies (182) Good night (21303) Bad night (2736)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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  (707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2
  Replies (20) Good night (1014) Bad night (4943)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (6095) Bad night (729)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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  (210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq
  Replies (4) Good night (2275) Bad night (724)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

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  (330): You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/znwq
  Replies (4) Good night (5113) Bad night (1049)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.

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  (770): You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month. http://tfl.nu/j1wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1427) Bad night (616)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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  (204): Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas. http://tfl.nu/2j0v
  Replies (9) Good night (927) Bad night (476)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest

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  (217): Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest http://tfl.nu/6z1q
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

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  (912): Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say http://tfl.nu/bgnm
  Replies (2) Good night (922) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.

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  (412): the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants. http://tfl.nu/nmqh
  Replies (3) Good night (567) Bad night (189)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?

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  (212): Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking? http://tfl.nu/s8rr
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (148)

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