Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy

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  (810): nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy http://tfl.nu/15i2
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Who isn't?

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  (770): Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims. (404): Who isn't? http://tfl.nu/hgp5
  Replies (27) Good night (2931) Bad night (921)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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  (817): I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network! http://tfl.nu/tfom
  Replies (3) Good night (3146) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

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  (941): Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row. http://tfl.nu/asli
  Replies (141) Good night (4120) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?

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  (203): I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision? http://tfl.nu/h84p
  Replies (33) Good night (1340) Bad night (12618)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year

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  (203): i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year http://tfl.nu/ku2e
  Replies (58) Good night (8346) Bad night (2044)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many

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  (319): You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many http://tfl.nu/z652
  Replies (8) Good night (5017) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

  (409): View more from Texas

  That was definitely the right answer.

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  (406): She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her. (409): That was definitely the right answer. http://tfl.nu/zisl
  Replies (19) Good night (6948) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.

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  (336): He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one. http://tfl.nu/csjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1384) Bad night (4992)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS

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  (717): Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS http://tfl.nu/pbtw
  Replies (19) Good night (1179) Bad night (2343)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.

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  (541): I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom. http://tfl.nu/egj2
  Replies (6) Good night (1587) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

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  (770): He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons. http://tfl.nu/t6wz
  Replies (9) Good night (645) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.

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  (330): The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it. http://tfl.nu/56k9
  Replies (11) Good night (969) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.

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  (215): spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover. http://tfl.nu/j4hn
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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  (661): TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us! http://tfl.nu/7jy3
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (369)

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