Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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  (214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw
  Replies (56) Good night (3738) Bad night (1786)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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  (413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung http://tfl.nu/rtj3
  Replies (48) Good night (13648) Bad night (1178)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck

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  (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck http://tfl.nu/4gk1
  Replies (72) Good night (4265) Bad night (889)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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  (859): That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days http://tfl.nu/gxs8
  Replies (12) Good night (818) Bad night (3210)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  (757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt
  Replies (13) Good night (9749) Bad night (1866)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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  (417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38
  Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (574)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.

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  (720): Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad. http://tfl.nu/6s4w
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (1022)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.

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  (404): I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity. http://tfl.nu/w9sj
  Replies (12) Good night (1953) Bad night (645)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.

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  (616): this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it. http://tfl.nu/xeu6
  Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (344)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra

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  (904): Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra http://tfl.nu/1ma3
  Replies (8) Good night (482) Bad night (1085)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.

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  (+44): It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution. http://tfl.nu/zvzs
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (267)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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  (919): We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad. http://tfl.nu/qk8s
  Replies (6) Good night (1841) Bad night (361)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..

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  (573): Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you.. http://tfl.nu/j404
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (347)
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  (415): View more from California

  She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car

  (831): View more from California

  Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU

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  (415): She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car (831): Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU http://tfl.nu/qj3f
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (304)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.

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  (848): Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee. http://tfl.nu/nwde
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (280)

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