every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here