If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts