i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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