What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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