threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize