i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
