you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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