she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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