Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize