i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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