Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We are all done wearing pants today
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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