I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
