Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen" http://tfl.nu/6cx3
  Replies (52) Good night (9518) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that. (717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother... http://tfl.nu/ehm3
  Replies (153) Good night (2155) Bad night (26030)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd
  Replies (42) Good night (862) Bad night (7305)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer? http://tfl.nu/g4aq
  Replies (34) Good night (1874) Bad night (6051)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1487) Bad night (5033)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up. http://tfl.nu/a8fn
  Replies (13) Good night (4667) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/rb71
  Replies (5) Good night (2118) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (445): My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment. http://tfl.nu/kvle
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face http://tfl.nu/in3q
  Replies (6) Good night (800) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened. http://tfl.nu/qzdq
  Replies (10) Good night (2705) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7
  Replies (4) Good night (1945) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/j3xl
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it. http://tfl.nu/p90f
  Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (560)

Randomize