i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.