Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.