Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.