apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
