Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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