YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
