We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm too high and old for this...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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