I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
