i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
