We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
