The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
