yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize