We won't sleep together?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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