frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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