I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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