That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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