This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
