If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
