Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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