We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
