I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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