I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
