direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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