All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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