He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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