My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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