32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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