i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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