But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
