As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
