Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
