Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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