Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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