I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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