he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
