he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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