so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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