I love black thongs
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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