After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
COCAINE IS GR8
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize