You smell like stripper and shame
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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