Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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