i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
