He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
