Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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