Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
