Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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