he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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